The Stable Genius /s
Premium Unscented Leakproof Pet Waste Bags

The Stable Genius /s

60 plant-based, leak-proof bags. Resealable carton. The most satisfying use of a familiar face you'll find this year.

Pick your supply →
Frequency →
FREE GIFTS Get a free mystery gift in every box — when you subscribe.
Free US shipping over $35 · 30-day returns · We donate 15% to rescues
STACK & SAVE
Bundle any 2 character bags.
$34.94 → $31.94 · SAVE $3.00
Build your bundle

Pick your bags.

Mix-and-match the cast. Same bag, different faces. Two ship for less than two solo — a third one's optional.

Bundles
You'll get 120 bags · 8 rolls
Subtotal $34.94
Bundle discount −$3.00
Bundle total $31.94

Bundle discount applied automatically at checkout. Skip or change anytime — no commitment.
Why it works

Built for the walk, not the landfill.

Plant-based

Corn-derived film. Compostable in 90 days, certified.

Leak-proof

15µm film, leak-tested three times. Roomy enough for a Lab.

Generous Size

Designed in NY, manufactured in the States.

15% donated

Quarterly disbursements to local rescues. Receipts on the About page.

Four steps.
One satisfying conclusion.

01

Peel

…one of our SH*T Bags away from the roll and tear on the perforated line. Feel the revolution flowing through your veins.

02

Collect

…the waste with our dog poop bags made from plant-based materials, in a certified fair-trade and BSCI-compliant manufacturing facility committed to ethical production and the highest material quality. The kleptocracy hates this.

03

Dispose

…of the waste. You're free to choose the manner in which you dispose of your SH*T Bag (while it's still a free country.)

04

Feel

…a profound sense of accomplishment knowing that you are speaking truth to power and corruption. I’m so fucking proud of you right now. Tag #pickupthesht. Stefan reposts the best ones every Sunday.

The order of succession

Where every load ends up.

Every administration has a chain of command. So does every walk.

  1. 1 The dog Where it begins
  2. 2 The leash What restrains it
  3. 3 The bag What carries it You are here
  4. 4 The bin Where it ends
  5. 5 History What we say happened

Meet the cast.

A growing roster of characters you'd rather scoop than support. Bag the one you can't stand most.

Sh*t Bag #1 47% of orders
The original
$17.47
View
Sh*t Bag #2 Catching Up
New release
$17.47
View
Sh*t Bag #3 Notify me
Coming soon
STACK & SAVE
Bundle any 2 character bags.
$34.94 → $31.94 · SAVE $3.00
Build your bundle

Pick your bags.

Mix-and-match the cast. Same bag, different faces. Two ship for less than two solo — a third one's optional.

Bundles
You'll get 120 bags · 8 rolls
Subtotal $34.94
Bundle discount −$3.00
Bundle total $31.94

Bundle discount applied automatically at checkout. Skip or change anytime — no commitment.
Smolotov Subscription

Mystery
gift inside.

Every subscription box ships with a mystery sample from a partner pet brand. Treats, toys, balms, things we tested on Stefan's dog and approved.

Featured partner — May
Roo's Botanical Treats
Single-ingredient sweet potato bites Stefan's dog wouldn't shut up about for two weeks straight.
Inside this month's drop

What subscribers are getting in May

  • 60 leak-proof Smolotov bags
  • A surprise treat sample (worth ~$8)
  • Founder's note (lightly seasoned with rage)
  • Free Smolotov sticker pack
  • Skip-this-month link, no questions
Mystery sample varies by month. Sticker pack ships with first box.
10%
Off every box
Locked-in subscriber pricing on every shipment. No tier games, no codes.
$0
Shipping, always
Free US shipping on every subscription order. Doesn't matter the size.
1
Mystery gift / box
A surprise sample from a partner pet brand in every shipment. Treats, toys, balms — Stefan tested them.
0s
To skip or cancel
Manage everything from one link in your inbox. No phone calls, no retention email gauntlet.
Start subscription → Cancel anytime · Ships every 30 days

The
specifics.

Material
Plant-based PSM (corn-derived)
Compostability
Industrial — 90 days, ASTM D6400
Per box
120 bags · 8 rolls of 15
Bag size
9" × 13" — fits up to a Lab
Strength
15µm, leak-tested 3×
Scent
Unscented
Donation
15% of every order to local rescues
Origin
Designed in NY, made in USA

Other bags don't
want this conversation.

We're not cheaper. We're better — by every measurement we found a way to take.

Measurement This bag Smolotov Leakproof Typical "eco" brand Compostable Co. Drugstore Generic plastic
Material Plant-based PSM Recycled HDPE Virgin LDPE
Film thickness 15 µm 12 µm 10 µm
Tear strength 24 N/mm 14 N/mm 11 N/mm
Leak tests 3× per lot Not published None
Compostable Yes · 90 days · ASTM D6400 No No
Scent Unscented Floral fragrance Plastic odor
Per bag (avg.) $0.10 – $0.12 $0.08 $0.04
Donation per order 15% to local rescues 0% 0%
Source: In-house lab · 2025 third-party material report · Methodology available on request

1,247 people
have a point.

4.8 / 5 — verified by Judge.me

"Bought a 3-pack as a divorce gift. She uses one every walk and texts me a photo. Best $45 I've spent since the wine subscription."

Margaret L. Brooklyn, NY

"We have two dachshunds and a lot of feelings. The bag does the talking now."

David & Marco Provincetown

"I almost feel bad picking it up. Almost."

Janine R. Asheville, NC

"Quality is genuinely better than the no-name biodegradable I was using. Bonus: my neighbor noticed."

Pat S. Madison, WI

Things people
actually ask.

Is this actually compostable?
Yes — industrial composting in 90 days, certified to ASTM D6400. In a backyard pile it will take a long time. We are honest about that.
Will my dog walker think I am insane?
Possibly. We've heard from several customers whose walkers asked for their own carton.
Can I get this on Amazon?
A softer-named version, yes. The full personality is reserved for here.
How does the subscription work?
You choose a frequency (monthly is the default). You get 10% off, free shipping, and a partner sample tucked in. Skip or cancel any time from your account.
Do you really donate 15%?
Yes. Quarterly disbursements; we publish the receipts on the About page.
Why we exist

Petty?
Maybe.
Effective?
Yes.

Politics is exhausting. Walking your dog isn't. Smolotov puts the two together so the most demoralizing news cycle of your week ends with something useful at the bottom of a bag.

Plant-based, leak-tested, and shaped like the people who deserve it. We donate 15% of every bag sold to local rescues — which, last we checked, is more than they've ever donated to anything.

— Stefan, founder

Pick up the sh*t.

Plant-based bags shaped like the people we'd rather scoop than vote for.

Grab a SH*T BAG → 60 bags / from $17.47
★ 4.8 / 1,200+ reviewsMade in USAShips worldwide
New: RFK drops July
Sworn this day

The Oath of Office.

In recognition of the work that goes uncelebrated — the picking up, the bagging, the carrying — and in service of the streets that nobody else will keep clean, the bearer of this bag affirms the following.

  1. I To lift, without complaint, that which the day has put down.
  2. II To carry without leaking. To hold without judging. To remain whole until the bin.
  3. III To accept the office without ceremony, and to leave it without residue.
  4. IV To do the work the streets demand — especially the work no administration has ever done.