Loyalty leaks. Bags don't.
Service over country. Bags over couches.
He folds. We don't.
Hold the bag. Not the line.
Plant-based. Spine optional.
Loyalty leaks. Bags don't.
Service over country. Bags over couches.
He folds. We don't.
Hold the bag. Not the line.
Plant-based. Spine optional.
Premium Unscented Leakproof Pet Waste Bags
The Deuce
60 plant-based, leak-proof bags. The loyal understudy of the Smolotov lineup — second in command, first to suck up. A duplicitous lackey finally finds his purpose!
Free US shipping at $45
Why it works
Built for the walk, not the landfill.
Plant-based
Corn-derived material. Compostable in 30-90 days, depending on conditions.
Thick + Leak-proof
20µm film. Leak-proof. 7 manufacturing quality control checks throughout production.
Generous Size
9" x 13", Large enough for any breed, but not so large as to shroud you from his duplicitous nature.
Designed in California
Berkeley-based design studio with daily in-house order fulfillment.
Four steps.
One satisfying conclusion.
01
Peel
…one of our SH*T Bags away from the roll and tear on the perforated line. Feel the loyalty flowing through your veins.
02
Collect
...the waste with our cat poop bags made from plant-based materials, manufactured ethically in a BSCI-compliant facility. The kleptocracy folds. We do not.
03
Dispose
…of the waste. You're free to choose the manner in which you dispose of your SH*T Bag (while it's still a free country).
04
Feel
...a profound sense of accomplishment. He called you a cat lady like it was an insult but the litter box doesn't clean itself and neither does the patriarchy.
Meet the cast.
A growing roster of characters you'd rather scoop than support. Bag the one you can't stand most. We've taken the worst part of pet ownership and made it great again.
STACK & SAVE
Bundle any 2 character bags.
$34.94
→
$31.94
·
SAVE $3.00
Smolotov Subscription
Mystery gift inside.
Every subscription box ships with a free premium sample from our preferred partners. Treats, toys, balms, things we tested on Stefan's dog and approved.
Kiwa Natural Life
Single-ingredient organic sweet potato bites.
Inside this month's drop
What subscribers are getting in May
- 60 leak-proof Smolotov bags
- A surprise gift (worth ~$8)
- Founder's note (mildly contrite)
- Free Smolotov sticker pack
- Free Shipping
- Skip-this-month link, no questions
Free sample varies by month. Sticker pack ships with first box. Free Shipping on subsequent orders after the first month.
10%
Off every box
Locked-in subscriber pricing on every shipment. No tier games, no codes.
Free
Shipping
Free US shipping on every subsequent subscription order, after the first. Loyalty begets rewards.
1
Mystery gift / box
A surprise sample from our premium partner's pet brand in every shipment. Treats, toys, bubbles, and so much more!
0s
To skip or cancel
Manage everything from one link in your inbox. No phone calls, no retention email gauntlet.
The
specifics.
Material
Plant-based PBAT + PLA + Corn Starch
Compostability
Industrial — 90 days, ASTM D6400
Per box
60 bags — 4 rolls of 15 bags
Bag size
9" × 13" — fits most breeds
Strength
20µm, leak-tested 3×
Scent
Unscented
Origin
Designed in Berkeley, California
Other bags don't
want this conversation.
We're not cheaper, but we're better by every measure.
| Measurement | This bag Smolotov Leakproof | Typical "eco" brand Earth Rated | Drugstore Generic plastic |
|---|---|---|---|
| Material | Plant-based PBAT + PLA + Corn Starch | Recycled HDPE | Virgin LDPE |
| Film thickness | 20 µm | 12 µm | 10 µm |
| Tear strength | 24 N/mm | 14 N/mm | 11 N/mm |
| Leak tests | 3× per lot | Not published | None |
| Compostable | Yes · 90 days · ASTM D6400 | No | No |
| Scent | Unscented | Floral fragrance | Plastic odor |
| Per bag (avg.) | $0.26 – $0.29 | $0.08 | $0.04 |
Things people
actually ask
Why The Deuce?
Designed for “childless cat ladies” (his words, not ours) who value quality containment and lowbrow art masquerading as consumer staple, these bags are printed on the outside for easy kitty litter cleanup. These premium pet waste bags are thick, leak-proof, and large enough for any breed, but not so large as to shroud you from his duplicitous nature. Once full, the familiar face of a lackey for whom nobody voted, finally finds his purpose. ...Hide your couches.
Is this actually compostable?
Yes, these bags are industrially composted in 90 days, certified to ASTM D6400 standards. In a backyard pile, it takes a year. If they were not intended for pet waste, they would be TÜV AUSTRIA OK AT HOME COMPOST certified.
Will my dog walker think I am insane?
Possibly. We've heard from several customers whose walkers asked for their own carton.
Can I get this on Amazon?
The Deuce is available on Amazon at the following link–https://a.co/d/021Xfbek–but don't be surprised to see fraudulent sellers next to ours.
How does the subscription work?
You get a monthly shipment that repeats on your purchase date along with a 10% discount and a free premium product from one of our favorite brands. Skip or cancel any time. Subsequent purchases after the first ship for free. Solidarity deserves reward!
Do you really donate?
Yes, we use proceeds to fund progressive candidates, grassroots organizations, and new media outlets like Instagram's StillWeRise and CatsOnACouch. We're messy, DIY, and growing. As revenue increases, so will our donations. If you know a candidate, org, or cause we should support, please email us at hq@smolotov.com. ❤️💩👜
Why this exists
Loyalty?
Always.
Spine?
Optional.
Political Satire + Pet Care = ❤️💩👜
Not all superheroes wear capes! We've designed and manufactured THE BEST PET WASTE BAGS ever, and offer a level of service to match. Plant-based, leak-tested, and shaped like the people they represent, these bags take the worst part of pet ownership and make it great again! The revolution will not be stepped on!
-Stefan, founder
Second in command.Second in line.
For the loyal understudy. A plant-based bag built to hold what the top of the ticket leaves behind.
★ 4.8 / 1,200+ reviewsMade in USAPlant-based film
Night-shift edition
Sworn this day
The Vice Product Oath.
In recognition of the dignity of the office of #2, and in service of the loyal hand that holds what the top of the ticket leaves behind, the bearer of this bag pledges the following.
- I To hold, without complaint, that which has been left behind.
- II To leak no opinion, however strongly felt, in defiance of the seal.
- III To fold cleanly when folded, and to unfold cleanly when called upon.
- IV To remain useful, on every walk, even when the Top SH*T Bag is indisposed.