Loyalty leaks. Bags don't.
Service over country. Bags over couches.
He folds. We don't.
Hold the bag. Not the line.
Plant-based. Spine optional.
Loyalty leaks. Bags don't.
Service over country. Bags over couches.
He folds. We don't.
Hold the bag. Not the line.
Plant-based. Spine optional.
Premium Unscented Leakproof Pet Waste Bags
The Deuce
60 plant-based, leak-proof bags. The loyal understudy of the Smolotov lineup — second in command, first to suck up. A duplicitous lackey finally finds his purpose!
BUILD A BUNDLE
Add another character and save on shipping.
Stable Genius
$17.47
Kennedizine
$17.47
Free US shipping at $45
Why it works
Built for the walk, not the landfill.
Plant-based
Corn-derived material. Compostable in 30-90 days, depending on conditions.
Thick + Leak-proof
20µm film. Leak-proof. 7 manufacturing quality control checks throughout production.
Generous Size
9" x 13", Large enough for any breed, but not so large as to shroud you from his duplicitous nature.
Designed in California
Berkeley-based design studio with daily in-house order fulfillment.
Four steps.
One satisfying conclusion.
01
Peel
…one of our SH*T Bags away from the roll and tear on the perforated line. Feel the loyalty flowing through your veins.
02
Collect
...the waste with our cat poop bags made from plant-based materials, manufactured ethically in a BSCI-compliant facility. The kleptocracy folds. We do not.
03
Dispose
…of the waste. You're free to choose the manner in which you dispose of your SH*T Bag (while it's still a free country).
04
Feel
...a profound sense of accomplishment. He called you a cat lady like it was an insult but the litter box doesn't clean itself and neither does the patriarchy.
Meet the cast.
A growing roster of characters you'd rather scoop than support. Bag the one you can't stand most.
STACK & SAVE
Bundle any 2 character bags.
Smolotov Subscription
Subscription customers receive...
Every subscription customer receives a monthly gift from our growing network of partner pet brands. Treats, toys, balms, bubbles, things we tested on Stefan's dog.
Himalayan Yak Cheese Dental Chew
This month's free gift will keep your pup's jaws busy and breath less "trash panda," while removing plaque in two directions. Find more information online at https://fabrechew.com. Tasty!
Inside this month's drop
Inside the Box
- 60 SH*T Bags
- A tasty treat (worth ~$8)
- Founder's note (mildly contrite
- Free Smolotov sticker pack
- Skip-this-month link, no questions
- Free Shipping
Free sample varies by month. Sticker pack ships with first box. Free Shipping on subsequent orders after the first month.
10%
Off every box
Locked-in subscriber pricing on every shipment. No tier games, no codes.
Free
Shipping
Free US shipping on every subsequent subscription order, after the first. Loyalty begets rewards.
1
Mystery gift / box
A surprise sample from our premium partner's pet brand in every shipment. Treats, toys, bubbles, and so much more!
0s
To skip or cancel
Manage everything from one link in your inbox. No phone calls, no retention email gauntlet.
The
specifics.
Material
Plant-based PBAT + PLA + Corn Starch
Compostability
Industrial — 90 days, ASTM D6400
Per box
60 bags — 4 rolls of 15 bags
Bag size
9" × 13" — fits most breeds
Strength
20µm, leak-tested 3×
Scent
Unscented
Origin
Designed in Berkeley, California
Other bags don't
want this conversation.
We're not cheaper, we're better.
| Measurement | This bag SH*T Bag by Smolotov | Typical "eco" brand Recycled plastic | Cheap imitation Generic plastic |
|---|---|---|---|
| Material | Plant-based starch material (PSM) | Recycled HDPE | Virgin LDPE |
| Film thickness | 18 µm | 15 µm | 12 µm |
| Extra leak proof | Yes | Yes | Try your luck |
| Ink | Non-toxic water-based ink | Non-compostable oil ink | No ink, very boring |
| Scent | Unscented | Floral | Plastic odor |
| Per bag (avg.) | $0.24 – $0.29 | $0.08 | $0.04 |
| Fights fascism | Yes | No | No |
Things people
actually ask
Why The Deuce?
Designed for “childless cat ladies” (his words, not ours) who value quality containment and lowbrow art masquerading as consumer staple, these bags are printed on the outside for easy kitty litter cleanup. These premium pet waste bags are thick, leak-proof, and large enough for any breed, but not so large as to shroud you from his duplicitous nature. Once full, the familiar face of a lackey for whom nobody voted, finally finds his purpose. ...Hide your couches.
Is this actually compostable?
Yes, these bags are industrially composted in 90 days, certified to ASTM D6400 standards. In a backyard pile, it takes a year. If they were not intended for pet waste, they would be TÜV AUSTRIA OK AT HOME COMPOST certified.
Will my dog walker think I am insane?
Possibly. We've heard from several customers whose walkers asked for their own carton.
Can I get this on Amazon?
The Deuce is available on Amazon at the following link–https://a.co/d/021Xfbek–but don't be surprised to see fraudulent sellers next to ours.
How does the subscription work?
You get a monthly shipment that repeats on your purchase date along with a 10% discount and a free premium product from one of our favorite brands. Skip or cancel any time. Subsequent purchases after the first ship for free. Solidarity deserves reward!
Do you really donate?
Yes, we use proceeds to fund progressive candidates, grassroots organizations, and new media outlets like Instagram's StillWeRise and CatsOnACouch. We're messy, DIY, and growing. As revenue increases, so will our donations. If you know a candidate, org, or cause we should support, please email us at hq@smolotov.com. ❤️💩👜
Why this exists
Loyalty?
Always.
Spine?
Optional.
Political Satire + Pet Care = ❤️💩👜
Not all superheroes wear capes! We've designed and manufactured THE BEST PET WASTE BAGS EVER, and offer a level of service to match! Plant-based, leak-tested, and shaped like the people they represent, these bags take the worst part of pet ownership and make it great again! The revolution will not be stepped on!
-Stefan, founder